It’s a new day, it’s a new world! Iunia thinks. She woke up and realized she slept on the couch fully dressed. It’s been a long time since she indulged herself like that. She knew that today is not a working day, she has to pack her bags for a training in Amsterdam. The training starts the next day and most likely will keep her hostage in the airport for two days. These trainings are held at the Alliance HQ and they always book a hotel nearby. Cheap bastards! She missed a call from Chris, but doesn’t feel like calling back. What’s there to discuss?! He couldn’t come over, plain and simple!
Iunia’s mind is a little tormented by the fact that Ben triggered some emotions kept in a stable, safe environment deep inside her. He wasn’t even good looking, and yet she felt attracted by him in a strange way. Not one that raised sexual fantasies, but one that made her question this self-imposed lifestyle. He made her think about being taken care of, about letting a man in her life and yet she didn’t flatter herself that he felt the same. Also remembered the last time she had the exact feeling: in eighth grade when her colleagues offered to beat someone for her as a birthday gift. She smilled to that memory and a warmth filled her body: affection for Cezar, Iulian and Marius. If they would’ve still kept in touch, she could ask them to beat up Ben just because he wasn’t charmed by her personality.
You don’t fool me
With those pretty eyes,
You don’t fool me…
Iunia wished to have him fooled and wipe that superior grin off his face! Or maybe have him fall for her madly and then reject him.
Chris calls again:
- Yeah, hi!
- Are you upset? Why didn’t you call me back? I already said I am sorry…
- It’s not that, I really didn’t have time… I just woke up. Slept like a baby! Iunia rolls her eyes.
- What are doing today, can we grab a coffee?
Don’t go there, Chris! thinks Iunia.
- I am packing for Amsterdam, it’s the monthly training, I can’t!
- Can I drive you to the airport? Please, I need to see you!
- You need?! Chris, how can I put this mildly?! I don’t want to get involved, I appreciate what we have.
- Right! What do we have? Chris’s tone changes into something that feels like grudge.
- Ok, come pick me up at 2 and hopefully we’ll solve this dilemma of yours.
- It’s not a dilemma, it’s just you being stubborn!
- Fine, stop the psychological whatnot, it doesn’t become you! I said I am willing to talk.
- Ok, I’ll be there!
Iunia throws the phone on the couch in a dramatic gesture, but clearly she didn’t mean to brake it. Her phone is her everything: weapon of choice, shelter, book and defense against countless hours of boredom.
She calls Mermaid as an attempt to find comfort somewhere. She knows that on the group there is always support, but she wants to linger some more in melancholy.
- Hey, hun! Iunia greets. Can you talk?
- Sure, I always have time for you! Mermaid’s voice is already comforting, unaltered by judgement of any kind. Are you OK?
- I don’t know, that’s why I am calling. Do you ever feel sorry for getting involved in all that „married with kids” stuff?
- When I look at my boys I know it was all worth it. Why? Did you get the time is ticking alarm?
- God, I hope not! But yesterday I was affected by this man and I am scared about feeling anything. I thought my life is simple and now I don’t know for sure. What if I want all that? What if I wanted for someone to wait for me at home, someone other than a cat?!
- Please, be serious! You don’t want that, you’ll never respect a man that waits around! Maybe it’s just the fact that you cannot play with his mind… I know you.
- Yeah, maybe! I mean: it’s like that movie with Andy Garcia and Vera Farmiga: how can I figure the difference between love and infatuation?! I’ll think about it on the plane and get back with a conclusion. If the conclusion is against my beliefs, don’t let me acknowledge it!
- I won’t! Iunia feels her friend smile and hangs up feeling better.
In a few hours Chris picks her up.
- Hi, he says with apologetic eyes. I brought you a „kiss and make-up” coffee. Please accept it. I went by the French patisserie and got that lemon tart you like.
Iunia kisses him as to reassure everything is fine between them.
- Thanks! I appreaciate! And I appreaciate everything you do, although I am not showing it.
She’s a terrible liar, but he is too much into her that he doesn’t even notice.
- Please let me take care of you! Chris asks and he seems very sincere.
- You know I take care of myself and don’t carry this further!
- It’s about money? I earn enough…
- No, it’s not about money, it’s about you clinging on me like you do. Sorry, that came out wrong!
- No, you are right, I should treat you like shit and this would make me a real man! I should let you wait for my calls and then given proper respect! I’d rather be myself in this case, whatever this says about me.
- I always encouraged you to be yourself, it’s what I love about you. Everything you invest in me it’s flattering, trust me. Are you proposing something or are we good as we are?
- We are good, but a man can hope!
He gives her a glance and gets back to his driving. Iunia has the commercial smile on, she fooled him once again. She can admit she needs him, but not out loud. She respects his persistence and the fact that he’s always there, he’s a great lover, but she always felt he needn’t have to be more.
Later that night, she’s checked into the hotel and now is watching her favourite show – Shameless, as a poor attempt to distract her from thinking of Ben. The lives of the show’s characters seem really fucked up and this draws her to watch. The familiar fb messenger rings and she quickly checks it: it’s him alright!
Ben: hey, baby!
Iunia: don’t call me baby!
Ben: If I call you by name, will you come?
Ben: I want to make you come! :))
Iunia: Charming as ever!
Ben: You called me, I heard! Seriously, can I come over?
Iunia: Maybe it’s the wilderness calling… and I am not home
Ben: and you are…
Iunia: At a training in Amsterdam, I will get back in two days.
Ben: Fancy some sexting?
Iunia: No, but I’ll let you sing me a lullaby 🙂
Ben: Sleep tight! Sweet dreams!